Can’t teach an old dog new tricks…

So yesterday I went to this cafe to meet a friend of mine I hadn’t seen in about two months. We reminisced for a while, and I recalled to our group (in which my fiancée was also present), a story in which he told me in surprise “You’re much faster than you look bro!”. Its quite a backhanded compliment, so to make my point, I turned to him and said “You know, that’s just like me saying ‘you’re far more intelligent than your skin color would have one presume’”. [He is black] He seemed a little put off, but my other black friend just giggled, because he understood the light-heartedness and obvious biting sarcasm inherent in a statement of that nature.

I moved on and started asking him how his relationships were going, and if he was with someone right now or not. He responded that he doesn’t like labeling things. I chuckled and left it alone.

Today, I get this text message: “Call me when you get this. We need to talk about your behavior yesterday”. The condescension in that text is sickening. But I humoured him, and called him. When we talked, he said that he didn’t appreciate how I made some comments that embarrassed him in front of my fiancée who he was meeting for the first time. I told him that there was no embarrassing going on, and that jokes of that nature are a very Huzaifa-esque thing to do (a very me thing). But he remained upset, so I said I wouldn’t joke like that around him again. This is where things got a bit ugly.

His response: “I’m still waiting for an apology.” I swear, this boy has a complex. I curtly but politely told him that I wasn’t going to baby him. I had said as much as an apology, and he knew as well as I did that my intentions were only humorous. If he wanted to treat me like a little child, I would have none of it.

But that wasn’t all. He continued, ”that’s not all. Why were you asking so many personal questions?” This absolutely baffled me. Him getting offended by my comments I can make sense of. This question will never make sense to me. My response to him: “I ask because I thought we were friends. I thought we were bros. We’ve known each other for 3 years, and I was unaware that my asking you about your personal life was too…. personal” 

There’s some more that we talked about, but the whole point of this is that I just lost a friend. And why? I have no idea. I wrapped up our conversation by telling him “in the future, if I am talking to you or someone who I know only through you, I will refrain from being myself, and saying things that are typical of me”. He responded, “I would appreciate that”

We had plans to live together over the summer and for the next year. That seems well nigh impossible now. I cannot fathom why he has chosen to distance himself like this, but so he has. As my fiancée said, “he sounds insecure and immature. That’s a terrible combination”. I don’t this, but I will accept it. And so we live life.

NIGHTNIGHT by DEDDY